EASTER INTRUDER

     It was an early Easter morning in 1992… I remember it was Easter because the night before I had to run out and get more Easter goodies so that our 3 year old Jessica and 6 year old Stephenie’s Easter joy was fulfilled.  We must not have been going to a church at the time, because Easter just sprang on us, catching us totally unprepared.

     

     I must have been distracted by the rush to get everything set up,  because I forgot to lock the door that night.

    

     The next morning, as the sun was just breaking in through the curtain; drawing a line on the opposite wall.  My wife, at the time, Donna senses someone standing near our bed and staring down on us.  She opens her eyes expecting to see her brother Keith dropping in to surprise us for Easter, but instead it is a large burly man she had never seen before.

    

     She gasped loud enough to wake me, Sandy and Danica.

    Sandy and Danica were our young half Lab - half Doberman dogs, who always slept at the foot of our bed, out of sight from the doorway where this stranger was standing.    Now these dogs are the most dormant dogs you could ever meet.  The only time we had heard them bark was if one were chasing the other.   We have had many strangers walk up to our door previously and the two dogs just showed them the way into the house.

     

     But this time, the startled gasp put them on alert.  Both came charging around the bed and right at the stranger.  It was a flurry of gnashing teeth and guttural growls, right at the stranger’s crotch.  They backed him up against the living room wall and he had his hands up in the “I surrender mode”.

        

     I had never seen such precise and coordinated dipping and dodging as the two dogs barked and snapped at the stranger’s privates. 

    

     Things were so under control that Donna got up and went into the living room and sat on the couch; so she could gather her thoughts.  I took my time and pulled on pants and shoes, just in case he beats me up, I will at least be dressed.

     

     It may have been about two minutes of commotion when I was finally ready to face our intruder.  I gave one sharp and pointed command, “Sandy, Danica – SIT!” it was the only command they knew.

     

     Immediately both dogs quieted and pranced over to either side of Donna and sat, eyes like lasers on the intruder.   The display was so impressive I could tell the intruder knew he was in the presence of trained attack dogs.  I was not going to tell him different and I tried my hardest to hide my surprise that the dogs actually listened to me for the first time in their lives.

    

     I calmly looked up (really far up) at the intruder and asked him, why he was in my house.   He had to have been at least 6’-5” and 250 pounds.

 

    “I must have come to the wrong house,” he slurred. 

    “I think so,” I answered. Just as I heard Jessica shuffling down the hallway rubbing her eyes.

    

     “Is that the Easter Bunny?” she asked. 

     Oh crap, I am thinking.  This is a dangerous situation and now he knows we have kids.  I could see Stephenie peeping out her bedroom door, wisely ready to bolt out the back door.

     

     In an attempt to get Jessica safe I ordered, “It is not the Easter Bunny! Now go back to bed.”

     She shuffled back to her room, Stephenie grabbed Jessica’s arm and pulled her in.

     Turning my attention back to the intruder, “Why are you here,” I asked.

     “I thought this was my brother’s home,” he answered.

     Well that was possible.  These old beach bungalows did look a lot the same.  And he was apparently drunk (although extremely steady on his feet and puffing up his chest with each passing moment).

     Donna mentions that we need to get the police to help us straighten out this error.  That really made him puff up his chest and suddenly - he was sober.

     At this point, if he gets physical, I am not sure if Sandy and Danica will help me.  We never taught them the word “sic-em”.  For all I know they would sit on the sidelines and take bets on how long I would last against this monster.

    Hoping he will take my queue I ponder over at the two dogs for a moment and tell him, “Well you made a mistake and now you need to leave,” just wanting him out of the house.

    After a few promises that we would not call the police; he agreed to leave.  On his way out he pulls a large tarp out from behind the front door. 

    I lock the door behind him and still have no idea what he intended to do with the tarp.

    I hope everyone has a great Easter.

Malachite’s first cloud making lesson was an unexpected event. Jade had to make a journey to visit here favorite Aunt, Marble, which meant that Granite had to take his 4 year old son Malachite with him on his daily cloud making chore.

Malachite loved watching his father make clouds. Granite would always start out by clearing his head by slurping up a gallon of water then he would shake the entire upper half of his body. Water would spray everywhere as the giant dragon’s head would shake like a wet dog.

He would then take a few deep inhales of air to get his internal burners primed and steam would start to come out of his nostrils. A few more deep breaths and suddenly there was a cloud climbing to the sky. Malachite jumped for joy. The youngster let out a yell, but instead of sound a small flame popped out of his mouth. The fire burnt the tail of an on looking sparrow. The bird quickly flew into the stream to cool his tail and gave Malachite a nasty look.

“Well my boy, your first flame,” Granite beamed with pride, “you should drink some water to cool your throat.”

Malachite took a drink, steam started coming out of his nose. He took a deep breath and there was more steam. So much so that the area around them started to fog up. Granite called over to Malachite, “please blow upward if you are going to make a cloud, your fog is so thick, I just walked into a tree!”

The birds that had been watching flew off for a clearing so they could watch the commotion more closely. Malachite grinned with pride. A thick low lying fog was one of his Grandfather’s specialties. He drew in more water and nothing. His little flame had gone out.

“No worry son, there will be many more days of cloud making in your future” Granite said, finding his way through the fog to his son, “you are a natural cloud maker.”

Far away, long ago, in a place where tall redwood trees and large caves covered the hillsides; lay the land of the Flower Pixies and Land Dragons…

The morning sky was crisp and vibrant blue. Not a cloud could be seen … except for one, rising from within the forest and billowing high into the sky…

“Hey Dad! Did you see the cloud I just made? It looks like an rabbit,” the young dragon called, as he admired the giant bunny floating to the sky. “Come out here, and we can play cloud maker together,” he said as he drew in a deep breath, and let out a steamy spew mixed with laughter and giggles.

His father could only turn back and remind him about the old tradition that dragon fathers do not live at home with the family very long. “Malachite, my son, you know today is the day I leave you. I have been here longer than most fathers already. The way of our land is for fathers to wander alone in the deep forest in search for the greater meaning of life.”

The tall, gray and rough Granite would miss his rumbles with his young and loving seven year old land dragon son. But this was not the way of the dragon. They are loner animals with anger in their souls. “You’ll survive, we all do.” The dragon said looking as if his own heart had doubts.

Our freind, Malachite showing us how he makes clouds.

Kids: DO NOT TRY THIS, THIS IS A LAND DRAGON ABILITY.

He says the key to making a great cloud is taking a good drink of water, let it mix with the fire in his throat and then blow the steam out his nose.

Malachite was very proud of this bunny cloud.

Click the image to see more on how these fabulous clouds are made.

There are several Land Dragon rules that will be confusing to us humans. Here are a few from their strictest traditions:

1. The most prestigious profession is Cloud Maker.
2. Land Dragon love does not last very long. For the male land Dragon, you fall in love, get married have babies and then roam the forest looking for the deeper meanings of life.
3. The Land Dragon children must never question the dragon ways and only play with their own kind.

Far away, long ago, in a place where tall redwood trees and large caves covered the hillsides; lay the land of the Flower Pixies and Land Dragons…

Land Dragon (def.): Ground bound distant cousin to infamous fire breathing, flying dragons of years gone by. Although land dragons are capable of breathing fire, their specialty is blowing smoke and steam. A few of the more talented land dragons earn the title of cloud maker (a most prestigious and respected profession).

Land dragons live in large caves hidden deep inside forests. They are a proud group with a deep passion for their traditions (also known as the dragon ways). Some of these dragon ways will confuse the normal human. Most male land dragons spend years alone in the forest, roaming and searching for the greater meanings of life.

Violet: Young pixie girl who loves to fly through the meadows to visit her favorite brook. Known to be a bit nosy; but one of the most caring friends you will ever find.

Her hobbies include flying up in the sky to add holes and details to clouds.

Jade: Loving mother of Malachite whose husband recently left to roam the forest. Traditional supporter of the dragon ways.